Im not OK - You're not OK
NATIONAL JOURNAL OF HOMOEOPATHY 2000 Mar / Apr VOL II NO 2.
Dr Meena Mankani
'Sep
Presenting Observations: A 16 yr, young girl from a well-to-do family was brought by her mother on 27.1.94, with Amenorrhoea for 8 months. She was very short, 4'- 11'', sat absolutely straight and stiff, her facial expression reflected rebellion and assertiveness with flapping nostrils and tight lips. Her voice was loud and sharp; the tone-lacked modulations of warmth and emotion .Her face was expressionless, steady and piercing. Her posture, facial expression and speech instantly gave the impression of defiance - come what may. She wore spectacles and was shabbily dressed with her hair untidily tied up - a striking contrast to her neatly dressed mother.
Life Story: Her mother began by saying "She is very lazy and a very poor eater. She doesn't seem to be interested in anything on this earth. She is neither bothered about her looks nor health. Here the girl sharply retorted, "Mummy keeps on lecturing me all the time for everything, which is damn irritating. And the more she nags me, the more I don't feel like doing things." The girl was the youngest of 3, having 2 brothers elder to her.When she was around 1½ years old, she was parceled off to stay with her maternal grandmother since her mother; due to financial and health problems (lumbar spondylitis) could not manage to look after 2 boys, and a girl, "Oh!" The girl said, "I was kept away till I was 11 years old, so that my mother could give better attention to my brothers." Although she was well taken care of at her grand parents', her resentment for being "sent away" was fresh and expressed itself in sarcastic remarks. Her father had an electronics business in Dubai and she was never fond of him. Similarly, her relationship with her brothers was filled with sharp lashings, leading her brothers to remark, "We two were enough for Mummy and Daddy.
Why on earth had you to jump into our lives?" Her mother continued further "She is very rude and disobedient. She is totally disinterested in every activity that girls of her age enjoy. I force her to go for swimming, cycling, discos, etc. but no amount of coercion or explanation can budge her. She would only do things that give her importance and attention, like being the CR of her class. She is also very money minded. She says that if in future she happens to earn a lot of money, she will not give me even a single penny, even if I need it badly".
About herself, the girl said, "I am certainly very lazy. Even if thirsty, I never get up to drink water and may do without a drop the whole day. Not that I like water, or feel thirsty. I am also extremely short tempered. As a child I would scratch my face when angry and even now I blurt out my worst at everyone. I am extremely rude. I am a 'totally disinterested being'. My cupboard overflows with clothes mother buys - I am just not interested in wearing them. I also hate studying and lag behind in class. I somehow manage to pass by copying.
I am very vengeful, like my star sign 'Scorpio'. All scorpions that I know are damn vengeful, fanatic and sadistic - like me". About her friends she said, "I had no friends in school. I was not very intelligent and so nobody liked me. But in college, I made friends by being extra nice to everyone, to the extent that everyone comments that I know the whole college. I am very famous and that is why I won my CR elections. I always like being one step ahead of others. It's nice ruling other people and I know that I can do that very well, so why not? Also, a CR gets a lot of importance and is very popular. And I love to be known by everyone."
I asked her why she loves to be popular and famous? To this she answered, "If you are popular, you get a lot of attention and you can get above other people."
She was averse to doing all that her mother greatly wished and forced her to do: studying, cooking, dressing well, eating well, going for social visits, cleaning and helping around the house or attending to the guests. She just lazes around or watches TV. High heels make her tall and attractive, but that she detested most of all; wears only flat shoes. About her future plans, she said "Basically I am not dedicated to anything. I'd like to be a singer or an air-hostess or to get into business, anything. I am not ambitious nor do I have any dreams of achieving anything in life. At the moment, it is just studies that are hanging on my head."
She gave all the information in that sharp, non-fluctuating tone, revealing everything unabashedly, without the slightest tinge of ego, guilt or embarrassment. She feared darkness3, water3 and heights2.
Past History: Nothing significant.
Family History:
- Mother always had scanty periods, only for 1 day. Lumbar spondylitis
- Father Diabetes
- On maternal side, schizophrenia and heart trouble.
- On paternal side, all ailments including cancer.
Appetite And Cravings: "I am a poor eater. Many a times even if I am very hungry I do not get up and eat, nor do I ask my servants to get me anything. But I can eat chocolates at any time. In fact, I literally live on them. I love pickles very much and ice-creams to some extent."
Thirst : Zero
Urine : Very scanty. "I am lazy even to pass urine, especially when I am lying down in bed. I don't get up easily and I just remain lying".
Stools : NAD
Sweat: Very scanty-especially on the face. Face remains greasy2.
Menses: Menarche 12. Before she began menstruating for the first time, she had a very high fever up to 105oF for 3 days, which subsided gradually after the flow got established. Periods regular, but many a time got fever before menses. Acne2 before menses. Flow normal, washable stain. No mood changes.
Sleep: Always lies on abdomen with salivation3. Never fresh on waking3. She said, "I don't know exactly what being fresh means."
Dreams : Nothing particular
Thermal - Hot Patient3
Since childhood severe vomiting from travelling in bus, train, car or plane.
Can never tolerate tight clothes, especially around neck3 and chest3
Some Other Observations:
- At the end of the consultation, the girl put me a question in her usual sharp tone. She said, "Doctor, I have heard that you can change a person's mentality. Please do not do that for me. I don't want that to be altered. I want to be as I am. You just bring my menses back, that's all".
- She had been investigated and reports were normal. The gynecologist had asked her to wait for six more months. In the mean time she had come to me.
- Father and mother both are short.
- What is most striking in the Patient?
- What reflects the Central Pathology in her?
- What is the language used by her dynamis to express its derangment?
The Central pathology of the case is contained in the question that she put to me. She says, "I have heard that you can change a person's mentality, so will you do that for me also? I don't want that to be altered. I want to remain as I am. You just get my menses back. That's all."
-- Now what do we understand from this?
-- The questions that patients ask have much significance. - We understand that She Does Not Want To Change. But Why Is She So Adamant About Not Changing?
She said, "I was kept away from the house so that my mother could give better attention to my brothers".
What does this indicate?
Why specifically these words?
She could have used any other set of words. "My mother could not cope up with the demands of three children. My mother had no other alternative but to send me to my loving grandparents"
Or anything else. Why particularly "BETTER ATTENTION TO MY BROTHERS".
Herein lies the gist of the case wherefrom arises each and every expression of hers. We always have to go behind the expressions of the patient as to why they say what they say.
IF WE TAKE THE EXPRESSIONS AT FACE VALUE, INVARIABLY WE WILL GO WRONG
Here she believes that she was not as important to her mother as her brothers were. Her father was nowhere in the picture since he was always abroad. The mother was 'the culprit'!
Which is the most appropriate rubric? The first rubric that I selected;
1. FORSAKEN feeling, feeling of not being beloved by his parents, wife and friends. (SR I 547).
She has been constantly carrying this feeling right from her childhood, which was clearly reflected in so many of her expressions even now. She concluded very early in life that she was not a cherished creature and easily discarded off.
Now we have to understand that in what way did she react and try to cope up with this FIXED PERCEPTION of life in her mind.
In what peculiar way did she compensate for her feeling of not being loved and wanted? The individual characteristic response to a given stimulus is always the deciding factor in every case - no matter what the stimulus.
