Why My Family Treats Me Badly?
NATIONAL JOURNAL OF HOMOEOPATHY 1999 Jul / Aug VOL VIII NO 4.
Dr Neelofer Shaikh
'Nat-mur
A 28- year old lady came with the following chief complaint:
| R S 1mth x 15d 1990 |
Breathlessness with continuous cough yellowish expectoration and vomiting with feverish feeling Rhonchi Bilaterally+ Tongue-coated |
A/F after 1st Pregnancy <cold drink3 <Damp weather air condition <night 3 drinking water |
Boils around nose and corner of mouth O/E - |
| Rt. Foot soles childhood |
Eczema | <winter <scratching <working in water |
|
| FR S 1/3 mth x 4.5 d 1990 |
Boils around genitals Itching+ Redness+ |
A/F Pregnancy <Chana dal <Potatoes >Hot water app. |
|
| G I T 2-3 days 5 yrs. |
Gas++ unsatisfactory stool with straining |
<slightest error in diet. |
Pt As A Person
Build - Moderate, short stature
App - good
Thirst - N. (5-6 glass/day)
Stool - Unsatisfactory
Urine - N (6-7/day)
Persp - profuse ++ over all
Sleep - Disturbed of thoughts. Lies on abdomen
Cr - Spicy food2
Av - Non Veg2, sweet2
M/H - FMP = 14 yrs.
Cycle - Regular, 5-6/25 days. Profuse ++; clotted ++
MB - pain in Rt. Thigh
Leucorrhoea - N
Obst History - 2 FTND Chronic cold during both pregnancies; started after 1st pregnancy Gynaecologist advised Hysterectomy because of profuse menses
Thermal : Likes winter but decreases, >2 clear weather winter < cold, cough, asthma Monsoon > asthma
Fan - < >3 - open air
Bath - Tepid water always. Internally feels hot chilly patient
P/H - Urticaria & Tonsillectomy - in childhood
F/H - Mo - DM/BP
Life Space:
1961 Born in Mangalore.
Father was a clerk with a firm in Fort area and was follower of Arya Samaj. He was very cool, calm and understanding.
Mother always very dominating and suspicious towards father.
1966 - Mother went to her native place for delivery. During that time Father started recruitment business. Because of bad friends circle and the type of work, he became a non-vegetarian & started smoking etc. Since lots of women customers would also come to him for recruitment (housemaid jobs in gulf), her mother became all the more suspicious. She started spending all her time watching husband's movements. In the morning mother would fight. At nights the father would come home drunk and start abusing and hitting her mother. There were daily fights and the whole society came to know about these. Patient was always very shy / timid and anxious. But after this change in Fa, she took it too seriously. She would feel very embarrassed even to venture out of the house thinking what people must be thinking about them. Her other 2 elder brothers and 2 sisters were very bindas and carefree, and these things didn't affect them; they themselves started fighting and dominating each other.
Patient started avoiding people, going out and making friends. In her own words, she says, "I would feel paralyzed and out of breath when parents used to fight." Till today she talks as if she is out of breath.
1982 - Patient finished her B.Com graduation. Eldest brother after finishing M.Com got married and moved out of house to his wife's quarters.
2nd brother had spinal tumour. So he was always bedridden. 1st sister, after finishing interior designing course got married and settled. 2nd sister has always been very arrogant and dominating. She went to Madras for her MBBS course where she fell in love with a person, who later on jilted her.
1982-1987 Patient was in the house only without doing anything.
1987 - Arranged marriage. Boy was highly educated but was from lower middle class staying in one room with parents. Father thought the patient would not be able to adjust in one room and so gave one flat for setting up the family.
1989 - Sister came back to Mumbai after finishing studies and started abusing patient/her husband regarding flat. She wanted that flat and even instigated the parents to get it back. She even started critisinz patient's in-laws and husband. Patient felt very bad. It soured the relation with in-laws, as Si went and quoted things to them, which pat may have said in early days. Now she had to go and patch up with in-laws and explain how Si was instigation.
The husband even gradually paid back for the flat. But later they grumbled that he had not paid interest! With that money sister bought a flat and kept a paying guest, while she continued to stay in Mo' s house. Later on she married the same paying guest: who used Si's flat and car, now free and did some business from the house! For marriage also she didn't invite the patient, who is her own sister. Patient says "I use to feel very much inferior in front of my sister, but my parents never encouraged me in her presence and always blamed me, & suppressed me. My in-laws place on the contrary is like my "Maika" They are very supportive and understanding. Husband is also very good and tries to relieve my tension by taking me out etc". However the patient can not get rid of her feelings on the treatment meted to her in her own house, though her in-laws and husband advised her to cut off all relationship with her family.
Patient says "What kind of family I have? Mother misinterprets and instigates fights. Why she behaves so indifferently towards me? Sometime I feel I am not her real daughter". They did not inform other people that the patient had already paid money for flat given by her father. All these developments led to frustration and anger. She takes out all her anger and frustrations on her children. Nowadays she has stopped going to her parent's place, but the wounds inflicted by the behaviour of her parents and sister are still alive leading to depression and sleepless nights.
Rubrics - from Robins Repertory.
| 1034 | Domination by other for a long time: H/O A/F. |
| 990 | Abandoned forsaken feeling |
| 1038 | Embarrassment feeling of |
| 1038 | Emotion A/f suppressed |
| 990 | Abused A/F being |
| 1008 | Brooding |
| 1114 | Timidity |
| 1349 | Insomnia grief from |
