Tuberculinum's Day Out
NATIONAL JOURNAL OF HOMOEOPATHY 1998 Jan / Feb VOL VII NO 1.
Dr Parinaz Humranwala
Ding dong rang the door bell. Little Tuberculinum for once did not get up crying; instead his restlessness drove him out of bed into the sitting room. The milk man Mr Lac-vaccinum handed over the milk bottle to mummy but she had then forgotten to shut the door. "WOW!" thought Tuberculinum, "let me get out and see the world today as this seems to be a God sent opportunity. I am so bored with the same dreary schedule day after day. The same old school, with the same teacher throughout the year, the same classroom and the same classmates. How boring!"
Often he had been discovered by his teacher in some other classroom. When reprimanded by Principal, Mrs Ferrum, Tuberculinum candidly admitted to being bored with the same ambience day in and day out. Aunt Aethusa's dog Lacy was not around to scare him and the coast seemed clear for him to prowl out of home. The sun was about to rise and the marmalade coated sky looked too tempting to resist the desire for a long walk. As he walked, he pondered over what his friends might be up to at that moment. Calc-phos would love to be out of his house but then it would be risky to tap at his door at this hour in the morning and get caught by his parents, who would ring up his parents and pack him home.
Studious Carcinosin, always the early bird, would have woken up early under her mother's instructions to study, for her aim was to stand first in class. Medorrhinum would, in all probability, be sleeping in the knee-elbow position and having nightmares.
After having walked quite a distance he felt hungry, and decided to help himself to a breakfast of his choice at the road side eatery called "Calc-carb Dhaba". He ordered a glass of cold milk along with a salami sandwich. He always ate well but failed to put on weight, his thin chest and tall looks made him look very weak.
It was half past eight when panic struck the Tuberculinum house hold, as the parents discovered that their mischievious lad was missing. They searched for him at the neighbours, called up his friend Tarentula-hispania and Agaricus but they said that they said that they had not seen him since the previous evening. In fact, Tarentula claimed not to be on talking terms with Tuberculinum after the last squabble they had a couple of days earlier. Having searched high and low and having explored every nook and corner of the neighbourhood for their recalcitrant kid, the exasperated parents approached Hahnemann Nagar Police Chowki. Hawalder Mr Acid-phos looked confused and when asked for help appeared too weak to move out of his chair. Inspector Lycopodium a recipient of the 'President Jaspal Bhatti Medal' for being most corrupt and having very strong connections with the underworld, sat with his legs lazily parked on his desk. "Mee tumala madad karto pun techat maza kai? (I will help you but what will I get in return?)" he asked, his mouth grinding a tobacco paan.
In the meanwhile, Tuberculinum decided on extending the party; after all, such opportunities were rare and he was going to make the best out of it. As he tried to sneak his way into the matinee show at Stramonium Theatre to see his favourite action hero Bruce Willis in "Die Hard II". Mr Cuprum, the usher, was however too alert not to have noticed and nabbed him. "Leave me or I will bang my head into the wall" threatened Tuberculinum. Just as the grip over his night suit loosened, he wrenched himself free and made a go for the gate. "Phew! That was close! I will have to be careful from now on," thought Tuberculinum.
News, spread like wild fire in Hahnemannagar that Tuberculinum was missing. Everyone seemed to be willing to volunteer help. Aunt Aethusa and her dog Lacy also joined Tuberculinum's parents in their search.
Capricious Tuberculinum now could not quite decide what he wanted to do next. An array of ideas passed through his ever restless and wavering mind. Ultimately, he settled on going to Five Gardens.
Inspector Lycopodium, who had by now been made a lucrative offer by the desperate parents of Tuberculinum, started tapping his contacts in the underworld. Pressure from the Home Minister Mr Nux-vom also propelled the police force into action. Just as Tuberculinum was about to climb up a tree, he found a pair of eager eyes hungrily staring at him. Bow bow, barked Lacy proudly announcing his prized catch. Tuberculinum quickly gathered his wits and was quick on his feet with Lacy following closely in hot pursuit. Tuberculinum, frightened that he was, rushed home straight into his mothers waiting arms. No sooner had she regained her composure, Tuberculinum's mother made her intentions very clear. "No steak for you today; instead it will be Lacy's today," said she very firmly.
Celebrations followed with a speech from Mrs Aethusa, a la Maneka Gandhi, on why she loved animals. Lacy was presented by the Home Minister, Nux-vom, the Police Dog Award. The Lac community for once were proud of their achievements and felt as if they were looked up to; a far cry from the usual attitude of being looked down upon.
