The Problem Child
NATIONAL JOURNAL OF HOMOEOPATHY 1998 Jan / Feb VOL VII NO 1.
Dr (Mrs.) Priscilla Paul
Mrs. Sudha Karnad
Oh, he is a problem child! This phrase spring to the mind as a sorrowful complaint, an explanation or an excuse whenever adults are faced with a persistently difficult child whose behaviour they fail to understand or handle. Elders are worried and concerned when their child behaves erratically or irritatingly or in a manner that doesn't seem normal. So, what is normal and what is not? What sort of childish actions should alert us to the presence of some abnormality? When does this require an expert's advice?
Let us look at some cases that are referred to a child guidance clinic, to understand what is meant by a "problem child"
Case 1
12 year old Lata sleeps restlessly and has nightmares, displays temper tantrums and repetitive arguments with sibling and parents. They find her rebellious and aggressive as well as a poor academic achiever. She also has the habit of nail biting. Her teacher thinks Lata is a pleasant, sociable, average performer but inclined to be a little mischievous. The teacher also adds that Lata's parents are very ambitious, highly educated professionals with unrealistically high expectations for their daughter.
Case 2
9 year old Vishal, the only child of rather elderly parents, refuses to go to school after an incident of being bullied at school, speaks to no one but his parents, and also has bouts of bed wetting. Previously, in school he had been solitary, timid and extremely shy, while at home, he had been a very domineering child. Now he is pale and weepy. Every morning, he complains of various ailments and expresses dread at the thought of going to school. His mother finds it impossible to cope with his fears and physical symptoms, which seem to get worse every day. Neither entreaties nor threats can persuade him to go to school.
Case 3
Santosh, an infant less than 10 months old, is brought to the clinic with temper tantrums-kicking, arm-waving, head banging and breath-holding spasms. The mother is afraid that he will asphyxiate himself.
Discussion
After intensive investigations and discussions, the clinic staff concluded that Lata's problems were those of a normal child of her age and were a part of growing up. These were the transient adjustment problems of a girl going through a difficult patch at home. Her reactions were to rather difficult parents and a new phase of life, puberty, notorious for its turbulence. Counsellors felt that she did not require any treatment, although advice was given to the parents about the expectations they had of their daughter, and their general handling of her.
Vishal, on the other hand, was felt to have a persistent problem but not serious enough to require any treatment except continuing guidance to his parents. Counsellors concluded that his problems indicated a deep-seated pattern off "mal-adjustment"
Santosh's temper tantrums were a problem to his mother, but not to himself, rather, it was his way of showing that something was wrong in his environment - that he had a problem indeed but was dependent on someone else (mother) to discover what it was and do something about it. The mother had not realized how deep was her own discontentment and irritations towards her husband and his interfering family. She had no idea that these feelings were being transmitted to the baby. As she gained some understanding of the situation and her own feelings, it brought an improvement in the mother-child relationship gradually, and things became easier for both of them.
In attempting to discuss the types of problems found in young children, it might he helpful to touch on what takes place in the normal course of development.
The Child's physical and mental potentialities are determined by his genetic constitution and by the circumstances of his pre-natal existence. And throughout his life, he has to adjust to a never-ending stream of changing events-physical and psychological situations, and people. He also has to continuously assimilate, adapt and learn. Principal among the success factors is the manner in which the baby's fundamental needs are satisfied including those for affection and the nature of opportunities and demands that are presented to him.
During the first year of an infant's life, there is visible advancement in various behavioural dimensions like motor, perceptual, language and social. These goals are not difficult to achieve and bring joy and satisfaction. However, every time the child is refused something, there is conflict and can produce a problem. Hence, we have babies who refuse to eat, who object to being fondled, who take no interest in their surroundings, who are slow to sit, crawl, babble or laugh. Therefore, how the parent and infant relate to each other is the most important element that affects the early growth, apart from constitutional limitations.
In subsequent years, we expect the child to communicate verbally, to control his bodily functions, to socialize with his peers, to become independent, to assume the responsibility of feeding himself, dressing himself and attending to his toilet functions. With such a tall order, is it any wonder that hitches occur?
While the child is learning to cope with the demands of the environment, deviant behaviour can occur as a consequence of his failure to learn successfully or as a result of his learning the wrong strategies for dealing with life. This means that children learn not only good habits, useful skills and information, but also develop bad habits, fears and fantasies.
Children are not always good at expressing frustrations, depressions or uncertainties. They cannot tell their parents precisely how they feel, hence they often act in ways that seem strange, bizarre and incomprehensible to adults.
Problem behaviours are annoying, but this does not mean that all behaviour that annoys and creates problems for parents are to be equated with maladjustment. Parents vary in their tolerance of 'bed' behaviour, for example, hostility in children is viewed as a symptom of problem behaviour by the educational and legal authorities. Yet parents may believe that a child who is continuously pinching and shoving and fighting other children is simply displaying healthy assertiveness-a form of healthy youthful spirits.
