Pradhanmantri ho to kaisa ho? Lachesis jaisa ho
NATIONAL JOURNAL OF HOMOEOPATHY 1997 Nov / Dec VOL 5 NO 6.
Dr Parinaz Humranwala
With the announcement of the elections, the political parties in Hahnemann Desh have begun actively campaigning for their candidates. The three main parties in the fray are the Kent Party, the Hering Party and the Nash Party. Regional parties with some clout are Sarkar Sena and Allen's Individual Autocratic Despotic Majestic Kazhagham (AIADMK). The strict and righteous. Election Commissioner Mr Staphysagria has laid down new rules to clean up the electoral process and for once, even the rude comments of party heads have not left him indignant. Being a very conscientious man, he is keen that free and fair elections be conducted. The fact that Hahnemann Desh would be incurring expenditure on the ensuing elections to the tune of several crores made him tremble with anger.
The oldest party in the fray, the Kent party had been in power for years earlier but has of late been seeing bad days. The party president, Mr Thuja lacks support from the party due to his contradictory action and fixed ideas. The party's election symbol, the tree, looks frail, delicate and withered to the voters.
Till just a month ago, Mr Causticum, Mr Nux-vomica and Ms Nitric-acid, who were swearing by the Kent party president Mr Thuja, are now swearing at him and have now defected to the Hering party. The lack of inner party democracy and lack of charismatic leadership has led many Kentians to flee the sinking ship. The general public does not much care for Mr Thuja, with his ungainly stature, his double chin, triple abdomen, thick pouted lips and piano legs. The most recent card played by the Kent party out of sheer desperation has been to get Natrum-mur from Rome to campaign for them.
The Hering party appears to be all set to enter the corridors of power. Mr Lachesis is being projected as the "future Prime Minister" with the catchy slogan "Pradhanmantri ho to kaisa ho; Lachesis jaisa ho." The Hering party having experienced power for a few days earlier (13 to be exact) has decided to use every trick in its bag to come to power since the party is like a tiger that has tasted blood. Mr Lachesis, an able statesman and astute parliamentarian has the gift of the gab and with his crisp oratory laced with flowery prose and peppered with shairi has been winning the hearts of all and sundry. (He couldn't win a single maiden yet is another story in itself) The Hering party strongly advocates the need for Hahnehmann Desh to go nuclear and believes it to be the only solution to the recent spate of terrorist activity in the Desh carried out by infiltrators from across the border from Allopathistan. Mr Lachesis has long been jealous of the success of the Kent party and even now is deeply suspicious of that party's ability to return to power through last minute wheeling-dealing. Despite Mr Lachesis' deep hatred for Kentians, the Hering party has opened its doors to many Kentians who have been abandoning that party expecting a complete rout in the coming elections. The Hering Party being a fundamentalist party, it is perhaps only appropriate that it has the snake for its election symbol.
The Hering party's alliance with Sarkar Sena comes as no surprise, as they have already been involved in a power sharing arrangement in one of the states and have been quite successful. The pramukh of the Sarkar Sena, Mr Merc-sol, in his ferocious speech did not spare even the election commissioner, Mr Staphysagria, against whom he launched a vituperative diatribe. Despite Mr Merc-sol's dictatorial domineering dogmatic and despotic nature, he commands a lot of respect from his subordinates. The pre-poll surveys indicate that his party's symbol, "Bull's Eye" is quite popular in the metropolis.
Mr Lyco, leader of the Nash party, which is a conglomeration of about thirteen like-minded parties, has been recently involved in a medicine scam. He however continues to campaign undeterred by charges against him and has been projecting himself as a champion of the poor. Since the strict rules of the Election Commissioner do not permit him to contest the elections, he has thrust forth his wife, Ms Baryta-carb, as the proxy leader. Being diplomatic and a flatterer, he has managed to keep heads of different parties under his thumb, promising them a time-sharing arrangement if they came to power. The symbol of the party is a Cow.
Ms Platina, the leader of Allen's Individual Autocratic Despotic Majestic Kazhgaham (AIADMK) could not have found a better symbol than a mirror.
She has flagged off her campaign with the slogan "Mirror on The Wall, Who's The Best Of Them All?" At a grand rally held last week at Murina beach, she announced her intention to donate the 30,000 sarees in her possession to the woman of Hahnemann Desh. Mr Silicea meanwhile continues to be undecided about his course of action, Last week, he had indicated his desire to join the Kent bandwagon whereas this week he has been singing paens to the statesmanship of Mr Lachesis.
Although pre-poll indications are that the Hering juggernaut with bulldoze its way into parliament with a brute majority, those in the know of things are not inclined to write off the Kent Party as a "has been" and Mr Thuja, a seasoned campaigner, is known for his ability to pull a rabbit or two out of his Gandhi topi. The Nash party, as the third force, is likely to yet again end up as a power broker if we end up with a hung parliament.
It is any body's guess as to who may score at the hustings and as of now, it is still an open field. What is however certain is that no matter which party wins, the commoners of Hahnemann Desh are bound to be the losers.
